Journal,

I’m still sorting through all my thoughts. Wasn’t sure what to call this journal entry. Thought about calling it ‘the dove on the wire.’ (Reflecting on one of the Lord’s recent encouragements to me. In fact the lady dove made another appearance at my front door the day before we left this week for MD Anderson.)

Let me begin with the natural side of things. (Then I’ll move over to the spiritual.) I had been through eight chemo treatments at Cabrini Cancer Center.

Tuesday, July 24th, I had a bone marrow extraction, and then on Monday, July 30th was another PET scan. These tests were to reaffirm my progress, which, by the way, had been great. The future looked so bright.

When Betty and I met with Dr. Halawani on Thursday, August 2nd, it was time for the “shock” treatment. (He was shocked. I believe that was the word he used. He is such a gracious person.) Both tests showed the NHL (Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma) had reoccured, that it was now in the bone marrow. The PET scan revealed two “hot spots” in my abdomen.

The doctor sat down as Betty and I listened. We were expecting a clean bill. The doctor was always pleasant as usual. However, as Halawani spoke about the results of the tests, he said that we needed to go to MD Anderson for what would most likely be a stem cell transplant. (Cabrini does not do that procedure.) To say we were stunned would be a misnomer.

No time was wasted. Our first appointment at MD Anderson was for the 14th and 15th of August. (Tuesday and Wednesday) Two days of consultations and procedures. Had blood/specimen collection, cardiac injection, cardiac scan, and chest, PA & LAT, Bone Marrow biopsy (Both sides), CT Prep, CAT Scan , Lymphoma Screening.

Our next trip to Anderson was Friday, August 24th. This was for Vir pre-procedure eval new LV2, in Interventional Radiology. (Needed to sign forms, etc.)

Our third trip was for the 27th and 28th of August; Monday and Tuesday of this week. Monday was for a biopsy of a lymph node in my abdomen. Tuesday I met with Dr. Alousi, the stem cell doctor. Afterwards was blood/specimen collection.

Then it happens. At 1:30 p.m., Betty,? Nathan and I meet with Sattva Neelapu, M.D., my primary physician. Guess this is where the principle of “at the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be confirmed,” can be applied. (Mat18:16 - I appreciate so much Nathan being with us. He took notes throughout our interviews with the doctors.)

In fact Betty and I came to Houston knowing that we may be there for a good while. At this point it seems everything was pointing to a stem-cell transplant. But as the doctor shared, we kept hearing ‘no NHL.’ (No cancer.) He went through all the tests. He explains each test. They can find no cancer in my body. The doctor will see us again in two months for evaluation.

By the way I want to mention that MD Anderson is far off the screen when it comes to Cancer research and treatment. They have procedures and testings that are still considered experimental and not yet available to other centers.

Well, what do you do with that sort of ‘good news’? Well you rejoice for one thing. Then you begin making calls. And that is what we did. I called my sister Bertie and asked her to let my other sisters know as well as others. Her church had me on their prayer list. Betty and Nathan helped spread the news with calls to several others.

Now for the spiritual side. When the word went out concerning the reoccuring of cancer, the prayers also went out. Churches of various denominations as well as nondenominational churches placed me on their prayer lists. A great many individuals assured me of their prayers. Evidently heaven was being saturated with prayer requests for Brother Buddy.

On the emotional side I began to understand what Paul meant when he said, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.” (Phil1:21-24 nasb)

I guess Shana startled me when she told me to stop saying ‘It was a win-win situation.’ That she needed me in this life.

Others spoke into my life. Received a call from Will White. He said that I could not pass over before him, that I had to do his funeral.

And before we made our last trip to MD Anderson, Lori Spurgeon stopped me as we were leaving the church and said that she was not praying for God’s will to be done. She was praying for my healing. (These are just samplings of the things being spoken into my life.)

Did the Lord have anything to say about all this? This is where it gets even more interesting. It was August 2th when Dr. Halawani said ‘MD Anderson.’ Monday morning, August 6th, during my morning devotion, the Lord spoke to me from Isaiah 64:3,4. It was so real that I placed that date in my Bible next to those Scriptures.

What did He say to my heart? Concerning MD Anderson, the Lord said, ‘Expect the unexpected.’ You will find that recorded in an earlier journal entry entitled ‘Expect the unexpected.’ (Not to be confused with this entry entitled ‘Part 2.’)

Because of all the assurances from the Lord, I knew everything was going to be alright. However, at the time I did not know what ‘alright’ actually meant.

In fact I have this prayer recorded in my prayer journal for August 18th - “Father, I ask for a healing testimony for my body in regard to my present health, and I place all this in Your hands. Let your grace flow through my heart & through the hearts of all my family members. In Jesus name. Amen.”

On Monday, August 20th, the Lord spoke to me again from Isaiah 38:9-20, from the healing prayer of Hezekiah. This was also when the dove made her appearance over my head on the wire line. (She has appeared to me twice. The second time was the morning before our last trip to MD Anderson.)

Again the Father’s encouragement was so real that I wrote a prayer of thanksgiving in my journal - It reads, “Father, thank You for Your encouragement to me this morning from Isaiah 38:9-20, in the New Living Translation concerning Hezekiah’s poem of praise, and concerning my healing. I found this on the hill behind Christian Challenge by simply opening my Bible. It has to be Your hand to place this portion before me. In Jesus name. Amen.”

Then I added a PS behind this journal prayer - “Thank you for the dove on the highline that perched over my head.”

Some folk may think it odd to keep a prayer journal, but I don’t. Every prayer that I place in my journal is a prayer that I sense the witness of the Holy Spirit. I even number my prayers. In my latest journal the afore prayer is number 393.

I only share this to give a bit of insight into the spiritual side of my walk through NHL. My prayer journal is very private. In fact every prayer that I record, I consider it a contract between myself and heaven. After all did not Jesus say, “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matt7:8)

Then in another place He said, “Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” (John 14:13)

The one thing that has been my request from the beginning is that the Lord be glorified in my journey with NHL. In fact when I found out what I was facing with regard to cancer, on November 6, 2006, I recorded this prayer: “Father, let my health issue be to Your glory. Out of all this let Your healing love be upon me with my testimony as a living witness to Your care over me and all Your people. Strengthen me O my God to Your kingdom work. In Jesus name. Amen.”

There is one more testimony that I want to add. My mother was diagnosed with leukemia in the mid 50s. She was sent home to die. Well the Lord had something to say about that. The small church my mom attended (Church of God Anderson) began praying for mama. Yep - You guessed it. Mom was healed. She passed on to be with the Lord on Easter Sunday, 2005. Mama was 85 years old.

By the way when I shared with one of the Anderson doctors concerning my mom’s testimony, he said that I would live to be at least 85 years old. (Course he was smiling all the while.)

There you have it. The Lord has strengthened me for kingdom work and for the glory of His name.

I only wish that I could thank everyone personally for their prayers and for all the love that has come my way. My sweet wife Betty has been at my side every step of the journey. She has always been my jewel from heaven.

My three children have stood with me in every way possible, with their love and their support. Andre and Judy keep CJ for me when we make our trips to Houston. All three of my kids came to Cabrini to be with me during my various chemo treatments.

All the members of Christian Challenge as well as so many of my extended family, sisters, cousins, and so many other friends, have kept me encouraged with their love and prayers and support. It would do no good to list names. The list would seem endless.

Well, enough for now. I’ll be sharing some of this at our Wednesday service this evening. Looks like I’m back in the saddle again for a regular Wednesday evening service.

Much love coming your way,

Buddy

Posted: August 29th, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 11

Hi Friends,

Yes, it happened on September 11th, 1857. The Mountain Meadows Massacre. The untold story.

A movie is being released this Friday, entitled ‘September Dawn’. I encourage everyone to see it. It provides a historical account of what is known as ‘The Mountain Meadows Massacre.’ The Massacre is a bit of Mormon history that has been swept under the rug. But it is a story that needs to be told.

(Most religions have a dark side that needs to be made known. This is why you will often hear me say that the Lord did not come to give us a religion. He came to give us a true relationship with heaven.)

While the Mormon Church would like to downplay Brigham Young’s role in the massacre, it could never have happened without his endorsement. Young actually considered himself to be a god to the Mormon people. Here are a couple of quotes of Brigham himself:

“Jehovah created me to be your God on earth.”

“I am the voice of God. And anyone who doesn’t like it will be hewn down.”

I would encourage anyone to see this movie. However, it is rated ‘R’ because of the violence, so children should be excepted.

I noted an advertisement for the movie in the paper this morning that made the statement, ‘September Dawn - A love story set against the 19th century massacre of a wagon train of settlers in Utah at the hands of a renegade Mormon group.’

A renegade Mormon group? One definition of a renegade is, ‘A disloyal person who betrays or deserts his cause or religion or political party or friend etc.’ This was not a renegade Mormon group.

Here are some sites that give information on September Dawn:

(Trailer) http://youtube.com/watch?v=5UAfjHYg_II

(Documentary on the making)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=OKy6mVq_ANA&mode=related&search=

(Historical analysis) http://youtube.com/watch?v=inQJKdddt-8

(Also see) http://youtube.com/watch?v=xHPz_84YVNI&mode=related&search=

In case you are wondering about my interesting in this movie, it goes back a great many years. In 1964 I was a police offier in Moab, Utah. My curiosity about the Mormons needed to be satisfied. From that time I began extensive research. To this day I have a considerable library on the Mormon Church.

The issue is that? most people know so little about the true history of the Mormon movement, about the doctrines of that group, and especially about their leaders. These are all subjects in themselves.

This film will add to your education.

Ok, on to other things.

It happened on August 21, 2007.

My 67th birthday, that is. And it wasn’t about a terriorist attack. It was all about a fountain of love flowing forth to ‘yours truly.’

It began this past Sunday when the Christian Challenge ‘Daughters of Zion’ presented me with a beautiful chest filled with birthday cards from folk in our congregation. After services I sat down with Betty, to read all the wonderful cards. How do you keep from getting teary eyed, is my question. My heart went through melt down once again. (Happens a lot lately.)

But that was only the beginning. Tuesday was actually my birthday. The phone calls began early that morning. Some sang to me. Others just loved on me. Let’s see — There was Shana, Lane, Nellie Grace, Nathan, Sherri, Carla, Bertie, Flo, Karen, Warren — Well, the list goes on. Even got a two-party call from our beloved mayor and his chief of staff, Clarence and Rich.

Doesn’t stop there. That evening Betty fixed me a birthday supper. All my kids, my grandkids, my sisters, and other family members helped me celebrate. (Betty counted 22 of us.) You would have to know my family to appreciate all the picking and laughter that goes on. For some folk our ways would be embarrassing, but for us it’s just normal.

It starts all over again. As I attempt to read the birthday cards aloud, I’d choke up and have to stop in the middle of a reading. Don’t know why the Lord gave me such a tender heart. But I’ve always been that way. It doesn’t take much for me to cry. And when you are surrounded with so much family love, crying is not a choice. It just happens. Of course they are all manly tears, mind you.

And poor CJ. We put him in a room to himself. After a bit CJ managed to get out. He made his way over to where I was sitting at the table and tried to hide his head under the table so no one could see him. Can you imagine a great dane trying to hide his head while his whole body is higher than the table.

Perhaps I should not have said that it all began this past Sunday. It really began before we made our trip to MD Anderson. My lovely bride of almost 44 years wanted to get me a birthday present before the trip. Ended up with a laptop computer and … guess what? I even got me another guitar. It’s a beaut. After looking at a number of guitars I finally setted on a ‘Dean Tiger Eye.’

Let’s see - What else?

Oh yeah. I am scheduled for MD Anderson on the 28th. That is likely when I’ll receive my wherewithals. (Treatment alternatives, etc.) However, I did receive a call yesterday that I may need to go there tomorrow for a couple more tests. There were some other tests that my doctored wanted done that we didn’t get to on our first trip. Won’t know about this til later today. (Perhaps I’ve already said this but I am very much impressed with both the friendliness and the professionalism of MD Anderson.)

Well, guess it’s signing out time.

Still sending much love your way,

Buddy

Posted: August 23rd, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 5

Journal,

Been a very pleasant day. CJ and I picked up the paper. Then I settled down for my morning ritual of coffee and cheese toast, reading the paper, then placing everything to the side for my devotional time with the Lord. These morning devotions have always been the strength of my day.

Had a counselling appointment at 9 a.m. Afterwards I felt a nudging to go to my meditation place on the hill behind Christian Challenge. Just felt like I wanted to spend some more quality time with the Lord. So, I pick up my prayer journal and my New Living Bible translation, off me and my buddie go.

The General and I stop by the church office to say our ‘howdies’ to Nathan and Donna. Then on to the hill. I sit down on the bench and CJ settles down in the grass.

An interesting thing happened. I’ve never been one to just open my Bible to ask the Lord if there was something special He wanted to say to me. My experience has been that the Lord can and will speak to me anywhere my reading takes me. And He does it often in my regular morning devotions. But today was different. I felt perhaps there was something extra the Lord would speak to me.

With Bible in hand, its ‘Ok Lord, is there something I need to hear?’ I opened my Bible at random and my eyes instantly fall on Hezekiah’s ‘Poem of Praise’ found in Isaiah 38:9-20.

Wow - I thought to myself. This is really interesting. It had to do with Hezekiah’s recovery from his sickness. It does start off a bit rough but ends up in victory. It was as if the Lord was saying, ‘This is your recovery.’

While all of Hezekiah’s poem spoke to me, yet it was the latter part that especially spoke to my heart. This is what caught my attention:

Vv16,17: “Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You have restored my health and allowed me to live! Yes, it was good for me to suffer this anguish, for you have rescued me from death and have forgiven all my sins.

Vv19,20: “Only the living can praise you as I do today. Each generation can make known your faithfulness to the next. Think of it — the Lord has healed me! I will sing his praises with instruments every day of my life in the Temple of the Lord.”

Perhaps I should explain that the Lord has often assured my heart before Him, concerning my health situation and concerning the future. Yes, there have been moments when my mind strayed with a bit of worry. I try to keep these moments to a minimum. The idea of passing on to be with the Lord has never disturbed me, but I do find myself thinking about Betty and my children and grandchildren, and Christian Challenge.

Well it wasn’t over. While meditating on this portion of Scripture, I begin writing in my prayer journal a prayer of thankfulness to the Lord. That was when I looked up and there on the electrical line above my head was a lone dove. Wow - That is really neat. In the Bible the dove is a symbol of peace.

The dove was not startled in the least. She stays there and keeps looking at me. I wait for any movement by me or CJ to startled her, but she calmly sits there and cocks her head this way and that so as to get a better look at me. There is no bird as beautiful as a dove. She is so graceful in her appearance.

Anyway, read that as you will. I am not a sign seeker. My heart is fully established in the Lord. But I found what happened so interesting that I couldn’t wait to get to the parsonage to share it with Betty. After all, she needs the encouragements that I receive from the Lord.

I certainly don’t wish to read more into this that it warrents, but God is also the God of nature. He has often spoken to me through nature. When I take daily walks, I find myself saying, ‘This tree belongs to you Lord. All these trees belong to you. And my heart belongs to you Lord.’

In fact some years ago I wrote a song entitled ‘The Song of the Disciple.’ I believe it is Nathan’s favorite of my songs.? Here are some of the lyrics:

You know my heart belongs to you, Lord.
No matter what the world may say or do, Lord.
You are my King, my everything,
Whose praises I adore.
There is a fountain in my life, its you, Lord.

Here it is on my Jubilee CD if you like to listen to it.:

http://www.christianchallenge.org/audio/music/13_Disciples%20Song%20.mp3

So what’s all this about meeting with a dove?

Often time in the Bible the Lord used creatures of nature as messengers or as servants. The prophet Elijah was fed by the ravens. Balaam’s donkey had something to say to his rider. Jesus rode an untamed colt into Jerusalem.

In fact, Jesus even told us to look at the birds of the air, that they had a message for us. You aren’t sure about this. Listen:

“Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”

Then we have this Psalm concerning how God’s birds are very comfortable with Him:

“The bird also has found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even Your altars, O Lord of host, My King and my God.” (Ps84:3 nasb)

Now on to other things. Yedsterday’s service was wonderful beyond words. Nathan and Lori were in Houston for their 20th anniversary. It was my joy to fill in for him.

My subject was entitled, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’ My text Scripture came from Ephesians 3:14-21.

I wanted the congregation to understand the personal side of a faith walk. As an example I used General Claudius Josephus (CJ). When we are out for a walk, all I need to say to my buddie is, ‘CJ, come walk with me,’ and he will walk next to my left side.

This is what salvation is about. Jesus says, ‘Come walk with Me.’ In fact the distinguishing sign of a believer throughout the Bible has always been their walk with the Lord.

One point that I wanted to get across is that the spirit of the world is also saying, ‘Come walk with me. You are missing out.’ What the spirit of the world doesn’t say is, ‘Walk with me and I will destroy your life.’

Of course we know the answer. The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Jesus came to give us life. 

The graciousness of the Lord was upon the congregation. When it came time for an altar ministry, the tears bore witness to repentant hearts. My joy was fulfilled in seeing all who came. What I saw in particular and in a personal way was answers to my own prayers.

What can I say I’ve said it times without number. It is good to serve the Lord!

Much love,

Buddy

Posted: August 20th, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 6

Journal,

The Lord put on my heart concerning the trip to MD Anderson, that I was to ‘expect the unexpected.’ Well, it happened. Anderson originally told us I that I should expect to be there from seven to ten working days for evaluation. (About two weeks.) I was there only two days. (Tuesday and Wednesday, 14th & 15th) Totally unexpected.

My next appointment is for August 28th. Received a call this morning that I would also meet with the stem cell doctor on that day. Actually that was why Dr. Halawani at Cabrini sent me to MD Anderson. He said that a stem cell transplantation would be an option.

The one thing that gives pause to each of my doctors is that I do not have any of the symptoms that normally go with CLL. Not only was my doctor at Cabrini surprised, but the doctor at MD Anderson wanted to do his own additional testings. They are also requesting from the VA Hospital in Pineville, my bone marrow results from 2000. (This was when I was first diagnosed with NHL.)

All I can say is that MD Anderson is some hospital. In fact Anderson is the number one cancer treatment and research hospital in the nation. They have over 16,000 employees. The atmosphere is so positive. Everyone is super friendly. Over all it was a pleasant experience. Course some of the tests weren’t pleasant. : )

My doctor is Sattva Neelapu. He is a well-published lyphoma & myeloma specialist. The Lord has certainly placed me in capable hands. Here is an MD Anderson write up on Dr. Neelapu.

http://www.mdanderson.org/care_centers/lymphoma/display.cfm?id=48fce58c-cbc8-4241-9230a7c2865be43e&method=displayfull&pn=7cf8cb22-c601-11d4-80fb00508b603a14

Another great plus of the trip is that Nathan was able to be with us the whole time. What a blessing. He and Betty were with me for every test and for my meetings with the doctor and others. Nathan was like a mother hen in seeing that all the bases were covered.

And all the bases have been covered at home. My kids are keeping a very close eye on things. Andre and Judy will care for CJ during my sojournes at MD Anderson. Shana keeps posted via telephone.

And naturally my three sisters are constantly keeping up with everything. In fact I’ve had so much love flowing my direction that it simply melts my heart. A number of churches have me on their prayer lists. Even the Pineville city council had prayer for me this past Tuesday.

Yes, I will be ministering this Sunday morning. Nathan and Lori are celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary so I’ll fill in for him.

For those interesting I’ll be ministering on the subject, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’ The title comes from Isaiah 30:21. However my text will be from Ephesians 3:14-21, which reads:

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

Notice that I highlighted ‘Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.’ This is where the expect the unexpected comes in.

What I will be sharing Sunday morning is the secret of true faith. Many people don’t realize that true faith has little to do with what others may be saying to you. The true faith walk has altogether to do with what Jesus is speaking into your life.

This is what Paul was explaining, when he said, “I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and of going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens  me.” (Phil4:12,13)

I was 24 years old when the Lord called me to the gospel ministry. I will soon be 67. Over these many years I have truly learned the secret of a strong faith walk. And it all comes back to the word ‘personal.’

God planned for our walk with Him to be very personal. How can you have a personal relationship with someone who never speaks into your life? So there you have it. My entire walk with Jesus has revolved around Him speaking into my life. From the very moment that Jesus said, ‘Have I been with you so long, Buddy, and you don’t know who I am,’ to this very day, I have lived my life around a personal walk with Jesus.

The way Jesus infuses strength into His people is by speaking into their lives. So when Jesus said to me, ‘Expect the unexpected,’ I knew at that moment there was no reason for me to be concerned with what the future may hold. And whatever the case may be, Jesus is there saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’

Well, what can I add? We had our regular Thursday luncheon with the kids. That is always a highlight of the week for us.

Had thought I’d leave CJ with Andre, but I got lonesome for my buddy. Picked him up yesterday evening. The General is asleep right now at my side. He did not much appreciate me leaving him behind. But things worked out pretty well. CJ had a good friend to pal up with. Wilson is Judy and Andre’s dog. They got along just fine.

Oh yeah. One other thing. While in Houston we got to visit with Reza and Karen, Betty’s sister. In fact they took us out for Persian food Tuesday evening. What a treat. (I’ve always had a special love for Betty’s family.)

Ok, I’m through for now.

Much more love coming your way,

Buddy

Posted: August 17th, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 4

Journal,

Looks like I’m back on memory lane again.

Yesterday morning I completed my devotional studies in the book of Isaiah. How I love that book. I sort of see Isaiah as the apostle Paul of the Old Testament, while I see Paul as the prophet Isaiah of the New Testament. Both these precious men share wonderful mysteries about Christ Jesus.

And I can certainly see why the book of Isaiah is often referred to as the fifth gospel.

Well, this morning I began with my devotions in the book of Jeremiah. No sooner had I got started when a memory triggered in my mind. And I actually remember the date. It was Saturday evening, November 2, 1964, in a mission Pentecostal Church in Montrose, Colorado.

Here’s the scene - The service had ended and I was standing in the back of the church. A minister’s wife came to me with what she said was a word from God. I was so young in the Lord that I didn’t really know what that meant. But I can still pretty much remember what she had to say. It was close to a quote from the portion that I read in my devotion this morning. Here is the portion from Jeremiah 1:5-8 as recorded in the NASB:

“‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.’ Then I said, “Alas Lord God! Behold I do not know how to speak, because I am a youth.” But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say, “I am a youth,” because everywhere I send you, you will go, and all that I command you, you shall speak.’ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you,” declares the Lord.’” (1:5-8)

I don’t recall the sister speaking to me the exact words from Jeremiah, but it was close enough to stir my heart this morning. However, I do recall two statements she made that have traveled with me all these many years. She said of the Lord, “You will go where I send you. And you will speak what I give you to speak. Do not be afraid of their faces.”

Then she added of the Lord, “I will always give you favor with My people.”

Yes, I have learned through the years to be a bit cautious when people want to give you a word that is supposedly from the Lord. Yet in this case I can truthfully say that the Lord has fulfilled His word to me over these almost 43 years since that time. Among other things, He has always given me favor with His people.

And I can also truthfully say that I’ve ever felt like a child when it comes to being a servant of the Lord. To this very day I have nothing but the deepest regard for the pulpit ministry. In fact I’ve often wondered why anyone would wish to hear me speak. (And that is not false modesty.)

Well, the wonder of it all is how our lives are made up of memories. I find myself walking down memory lane quite a bit of late. Where does it all end? I suppose it ends when we walk right into heaven. Or, maybe that is just the beginning. Wow - what a thought!? 

In coming back to what pertains to the Lord, my earliest childhood memory comes from when my mom would kneel by my bedside, as I kneeled and prayed, “Now I lay me down to sleep.” I would not get into bed until I had “God blessed” everyone I could think of. (I’ve shared this in an earlier entry.)

It was so important to me as a child to not forget to ask for God’s blessings on every single person that I knew, and even upon some that I did not know personally. (Course you have to remember how small my childhood world was at that time.)

The oddity is that while mom had taught me to pray and to call on the Lord, we were not a church going family. Seems mom had sort of burned out on religion. (This was back in the 40s.) I really didn’t know what a religion was. My first memory of attending any kind church was when I was nine years old when we had moved back to Louisiana from California.

Here it gets even more interesting. I literally fell in love with going to church from the first time I entered the door of a church. It has been that way ever since. Yet over time I’ve discovered that there are no perfect churches. We are just saved sinners, meeting together to love and worship the One who saved us by His grace.

To this day when Betty and I are traveling, every time we pass a church I get a warm feeling. It really doesn’t matter what denomination it is, I always feel a sense of kinship with the church meeting place. I know that people meet there to worship the same Lord and I love. And I feel like I could walk through their doors and be right at home. (I’m not speaking of groups that take from the simple gospel of Jesus Christ. I’m not very comfortable with the idea of meeting with them.)

Now, here is a statement that fits my experience with the Lord. (It applies to all true believers.) Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.” (Jn10:27)

What this about the voice of Christ? For me it was also in 1964 that I had my first experience with Jesus speaking directly to my heart. Believe it was July, 1964.

My heart was thirsting to know the Lord. This was during a time when religion was sort of taking the place of where a relationship with the Lord should have been. I realize that this may sound a bit strange, but it happens. Sometimes our religions become our Savior replacements. (Just think about it.)

Anyway, I believe it was a Sunday afternoon. I’m in our living room reading the Bible when a strange thing happens. While reading John 14, I became aware of the divine presence. It was like a holiness had settled in our living room. It was like the Lord was drawing me personally into the setting where I was reading.

I came to John 14:9, where Philip says, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.”

This is where Jesus actually speaks to my heart, and says, “Have I been with you so long, Buddy, and you don’t know who I am. He who has seen Me has seen the Father.”

I could not read any further. The tears flowed down my cheeks on to the pages of my Bible. When Jesus spoke to my heart, it was like I was meeting my childhood friend, the very friend that I had prayed with, “Now I lay be down to sleep.” I knew at that moment that the Lord had been with me through all the years since my childhood.

This is another reason that my devotional reading this morning stirred such a memory. When the Lord said, “Have I been with you so long, Buddy, and you don’t know Me,” it was as though He were saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”

Do you get tired of hearing me say, “I can truthfully say”?

Well, I can truthfully say that all the days of my journey in this world I have been ever conscious of the Lord’s presence with me. He has visited me in dreams and visions and in other visitations. He speaks into my spirit ever so often. He has often shown me things that were going to happen before they happened, but only as I needed to know them.

Please don’t think that I am glorifying my walk with the Lord. My glory is in the Lord alone. I think that every true Christian can share a very similiar testimony. After all, what is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, if it is not personal and rewarding. How can you have a relationship with someone who never speaks into your life? You cannot.

In fact friendship with God is the very essence of the Christian walk. It centers upon Jesus being our personal Lord and Savior, and our ever constant friend. A friend is someone that you can open your heart to and have that friend share with you their own thoughts.

Jesus said to the first disciples, “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (Jn15:14)

Where does all this bring me today with regard to my journey with NHL and my trip to MD Anderson next week? For one thing, the Lord told me to expert the unexpected. I shared that in my last entry. That is really all I need to know for the present.

Each morning I continue to receive my divine assurances from the Lord. He has not given me any specifics. Of course He really doesn’t need to do that. I love Him and trust Him with all my heart. And whatever the outcome may be, I know that I belong to Him.

Yet the divine assurances continue to come. In one of my last devotions in Isaiah, I read where the Lord said, “It will also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” (Is65:24)

When I read this my attention was directed to Matthew 6:7,8, where the Lord said, “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition, as the Gentiles do, for they suppose they will be heard for their many words. So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”

Our heavenly Father knows exactly what we need at all times. This is where the wonder of trust comes. And the Lord often answers our prayers before we pray them. What another awesome thought.

Jesus instructed believers not to worry or be concerned about tomorrow. He went on to say, “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?”

Very often the Lord will give just what we need to know so that our faith remains strong. In my case it is, ‘expect the unexpected.’

Well, enough for now.

More and more love coming your way.

Buddy

Posted: August 11th, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 2

Journal,

I had an interesting devotional this morning. My reading had brought me to Isaiah 64. As I was reading, two statements stood out. From my past experiences I knew the Lord was calling these statements to my heart. (Don’t you love it when He does this.)

In verse 3, Isaiah spoke of how God, “Did awesome things which we did not expect.” The other statment was in verse 4, where Isaiah spoke of God, “Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.”

The impression that the Lord was speaking to me was so real that I wrote next to that Scripture portion, ‘August 6, 2007.’ Then I wrote in my ‘Gems for Jesus, “This is the Lord’s word to me on this day.”

Well, that’s the way it has been over my many years of walking with the Lord. He will lift a promise out of the Bible and place it right in my heart. But that’s not the only way Jesus shares to me. He has given me dreams, and visions, and special words spoken directly to my spirit. Of course He speaks to me through others.

The Lord’s ways of giving guidance to His children are varied and many. Yet I still love how He speaks to me from the Scriptures themselves. It is as if He lifts the words off the page, regardless of context, to give me faith and assurance that things are well taken care of.

So today I heard two things - First, I am to expect the unexpected. Secondly, all I need to do is wait on Him.

It gets even more interesting. Later this morning we had a call from Cabrini Hospital. In talking with the lady, seems we had a bit misunderstanding about my trip to MD Anderson in Houston. I’m not going there merely for an evaluation. I’m being sent for a stem cell transplant.

That bit of information stirred my heart. I instantly knew that it had a connection to my morning devotion.

Anyway, I did a bit of research on stem cell transplants for CLL, and found some very positive information. Of course I don’t want to read too much in this. The thrill for me came earlier this morning when the Lord told me to expect the unexpected. All I have to do now is wait on Him for the unexpected.

Talking about thrills, yesterday was a day of much excitement. Several things were in play. Right after church, Nathan was to leave with a ministry team to Mexico, where they’ll do work at the orphanage in Reynosa. Andre, Judy, and Justin are already there. Believe there are 14 people to help out.

Our morning service was simply awesome. David Stellwagon led us in such uplifting worship. Right after the greeting time, Nathan ask me to share with the congregation the latest news on our forthcoming trip to MD Anderson. I wanted to give our folks the assurances that we were doing fine, and that everything was alright. It was such a tender moment. Betty came and stood with me.

All I can say is ‘How precious the congregation of Christian Challenge.’ If there was ever a loving church family, Christian Challenge has to be at the top of the list. (Course every crow thinks her little ones are the blackest of the flock.)

And when Nathan took the pulpit it happened again. He ministered on the subject, ‘Peter’s Partnership Agreement.’ As I listen to Nathan speak, sometimes I feel like a youngster in the ministry. Nathan has such an ability to break open the Scriptures and make them come to life. I have to believe that some of his ability comes from being raised in a Christian home and from years of personal experience in serving in the ministry. (Nathan was licensed to preach at age 15.)

Yesterday evening at 6 p.m. was my Bible study. We had a good turn out. I shared from Isaiah 12 on the subject, ‘The Springs of Salvation.’ Following the teaching? we had another wonderful time of sharing and followed up with prayer. I was impressed that we should pray for family members who may be straying or struggling. Another precious moment.

I can’t wait for our Wednesday evening service. Various members have been giving their personal testimonies. It is so wonderful to hear how they came to the Lord. God’s children can be so transparent. Tina Frick will be sharing this week. She is such a sweet heart. Tina is like one of my kids. She is another one that I dearly love to pick at.

Let’s see - What can I leave with you How about another my songs. Oh yeah. Here is a good one. It is titled ‘Run Devil Run!’ (Pretty catchy huh.) Here it tis:

http://www.christianchallenge.org/audio/music/11_Run%20Devil%20Run.mp3

Much more love coming your way,

The son of Grace,

Buddy

Posted: August 6th, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 2

Journal,

Its time to let folks know the latest on my journey of lymphoma. I’ve recently had a PET scan, a bone marrow test, and blood test to get an update on how things are going. Betty and I met with my doctor this afternoon (Dr. Halawani).

The news was not as good as we would have liked. The PET scan shows a couple of hot spots in my upper abdomen and the bone marrow also shows a problem. Dr. Halawani was totally surprised since I’ve had no symptoms that indicate a problem with NHL.

My health remains strong. He has given us every reason to look to future options and treatments. Dr. Halawani shared with us? the incredible strides being made in the treatment of cancers.

As many of you know, M. D. Anderson Hospital in Houston, is number one when it comes to the cutting edge for dealing with every kind of cancer. Dr. Halawani was to contact M. D. Anderson this afternoon to arrange for me to go there for further evaluation and/or future treatment.

The doctor also noted that stem cell therapy will likely be part of my future treatment, but that there are a number of options available. He said that M. D. Anderson will call me next week to arrange an appointment. (Copies of my records are being sent to them.)

As for Betty and myself, we’ve never doubted the Lord’s watchful oversight of my journey with NHL. (Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.) This is just another bump in the road.

And in whatever the future may hold, I know that it all belongs to the Lord. Did He not say, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.” (Heb. 13:5)

Much love coming your way from the Martin household,

Buddy

Posted: August 2nd, 2007 under NHL.
Comments: 8